Tending

As usual I've been keeping myself moderately busy, but not always with the most important things. For example...I have been spending (Ah-hem, wasting) time on FB. Unbelievable, yet true. This is not to say that I am completely lost. I have managed to maintain the laundry and dish chain. I also have managed to read approximately one dozen books (not all of those were frivolous fiction) in the last two months. Part of me would like to think that my patronage of the county library system is helping to keep a few people gainfully employed--that's ego for you.

Through the usual course of events, I was thrilled to become a Master gardener and five minutes later become an Advanced master gardener--thanks to procedural and paper lag. The end result is still the same and I am still pleased. Also along these lines...

I am pleased and fretful about the children's garden plans. I received a green light to move forward making the initial plans, garnered some support and enthusiasm from fellow gardeners, and now have to figure out the nitty gritty budget to present to the "executive board". This is a bit intimidating as I was not expecting to do this part at this stage and without any other obvious support/help. It's one of those situations where you have to ask the obvious question "How did I get into this mess in the first place?" The obvious answer then is "I jumped without looking." (Head thump.) I'll work it out. I hope.

While the garden outside has lain sleeping, I have not been idle. Mentally, I have been growing, pruning and finding a path back to myself. I know a few would ask---where have you been? It's complicated, but I think that finally I am coming out of my mourning. I told a very special friend that I feel I am coming back to myself. The fact that she said she had noticed my 'coming and going' fills me with both sadness and joy. Sadness because I will never fully know how my mourning affected those closest to me. Joy because I have such a wonderful a caring friend still there after I've come out of the rain.