Maintenance Plan

It's official. I have a bunion. That's like what "old ladies" get. I AM NOT AN OLD LADY! I am told it's not the worst they've seen--nor the best. Now that I know what is involved, I can understand why so many wait until they are elderly to get it fixed.

Apparently, my limited options are: 1.) Suffer with the pain 2:)Pain management (medicate, support, ignore, repeat) or 3:) Surgery.

Joy. Can you feel the joy? It gets more joyous.

It's been explained to me that surgery involves major cutting and repositioning of two toe bones, adjusting ligaments and tendons to length and permanent wires in my foot. (Goodbye metal detectors at security!) I understand I would not be walking except to visit the loo and grab more nourishment for a week. At week 2, I would be starting physical therapy and walking up to 15 minutes and standing less than an hour a day. At three weeks double that activity. At 4 weeks I would be walking a mile. Did I mention crutches? Crutches (singular and plural) were mentioned for up to six weeks.

I can't believe all this also means 4 weeks not being allowed to drive a car. Hokey smokes! Imagine that--one month!

I think this process would/will kill me. Yes, I'm whining. Wouldn't you? Okay maybe not. I always knew I made a horrible invalid. I, who define my life as constantly on the go would be forced to be waited on nearly hand and foot for almost a month. It's INCONCEIVABLE!

On the non-sarcastic side of joyous...I have been told that I would not be able to do laundry, cook family meals, clean house or generally maintenance anything that requires a lot of standing, bending and awkward reaching by myself for a few weeks. (I have been told that I could tell others what to do to accomplish said tasks.) LOL. I see management in my future. (Wait. I already do that. Maybe with the invalid card I would see better results. Pause. Again, I laugh.)

This could be problematic and a basic retraining of all involved. I'm not against the surgery. Actually, I think it would be nice not to have the painful reminders of a deviant foot joint, and to be able to find shoes that fit without having to climb over a mountain of them before finding the jewel. But anyone who knows me, my family and my house can probably figure out how much planning this will take to pull off.

Thank g-d it is an "elective" surgery. Based on pain and how much I can stand to put it off...it's nice that I can choose when to have my foot repaired.

That sounds a bit like taking a car in for a rotate and balance of the tires. "Okay, Ma'am this time we're changing the oil, changing the air filter and checking the fluids. Would you like the free car wash and air freshener with that ?"

Maybe it's not all that different as we start to get older. Older models do require regular maintenance checks.